


Never Glimpse The Truth

by monkiainen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Ashes Scene in Avengers: Infinity War Part 1, Canonical Character Death, Guilt, M/M, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Regret, Survivor Guilt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-09-19
Packaged: 2019-07-14 07:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,002
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16035614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/monkiainen/pseuds/monkiainen
Summary: And in the end life would still go on – or at least that's what Steve is telling himself.





	Never Glimpse The Truth

That was it.

The end.

Neither of them saw it coming, not like this. It was a complete surprise and yet something very much expected thing to happen.

It happened despite what they did and what they didn't do. No apologies were told, and none were given. There simply wasn't time. Or maybe there was, but neither of them was brave enough to say the words the other wished to hear.

And now it was too late.

They had lost everyone: Heimdall, Loki, Gamora, Vision, Bucky, T'Challa, Groot, Wanda, Sam, Mantis, Drax, Peter Quill, Dr. Strange, Peter, Fury, Hill.

All those lives lost because they weren't able to forgive and forget.

They deserved all the suffering they were now going through because of everything they did and didn't do.

It was the end, and the end was the beginning. Of what, they didn't know.

Tony didn't want to break his heart again, not like this. Tony wasn't even sure he had a heart to be broken, after what Steve did to him, to their relationship. His heart belonged to Steve, no matter how hard Tony tried to prove himself otherwise. Hell, he had given Pepper a ring, and not just any ring – it had been his mother's. Tony had did it despite knowing that he could never love Pepper the way he should, the way she deserved to be loved. Pepper knew it, too, but they never talked about it. Never. It was the next best thing they could both have.

Steve wasn't so sure anymore he had been right. Everything had been so much easier when he had been young, before the war. Everyone knew what was right and what was wrong and there were no in-betweens or grey areas. Either you were right or either you were wrong – you couldn't be half and half. 

But what was the right way, anyway? Was it Tony's way? Steve's? Someone else's?

Or had there ever been a right way to begin with? Was it only a lie, an illusion, a hope for a better world?

Neither of them knew it, and it was eating them from inside. There was an emptiness waiting to be filled, a gentle caress, long-forgotten words and feelings. A sense of betrayal, a longing stretching through time, declarations of love and honesty and loyalty all mixed up.

The end is their new beginning.

Wounds have been licked, casualties have been counted, a tally has been made. There are no winners or losers, only them.

Was it enough? Were they going to be able to move on or not? Neither of them knew for sure, but they had to try, if for no other reason than for their fallen comrade's sake. They deserved to be remembered, to be honoured, because it was Steve and Tony's fault they didn't exist anymore. If they hadn't been so entangled in their _pointless_ fighting perhaps they could have been able to fight united against Thanos.

Who knows?

What was then was then – what is now is what they to focus into. There are talks to be had, tears to be shed, apologies to give; and maybe when it is all said and done they are willing to move on, to make a change, to fix everything.

There is a little sliver of hope, as far away as it may seem.

How can you forgive someone, who risked everything to protect the man responsible for killing your parents? Even if the said killer was brainwashed at the time. One would still think that _promises_ made by Captain America were valid, and not to be broken in any circumstances.

How wrong had Tony been. And that's why it had hurt so bad, to realise that Steven Grant Rogers, America's own Golden Boy, was just like everyone else – only caring about themselves and not about Tony. There had been words, kind words, loving words, and they had all been forgotten when the news about Bucky Barnes had surfaced.

Tony should have believed Howard. No one would never love him. Everyone only wanted his money, his fame, his status.

Nobody wanted Anthony Edward Stark for what he was – a man, a genius, an individual searching for love. That was the truth Tony knew, that was the truth he was believing in. Steve's truth… who knows what it was. But it was not the same than Tony's truth, and that's why it all had ended the way it did. 

Maybe there's hope for mankind, maybe there's not. But there is no hope for Tony and Steve, not anymore. Tony does not want to have his dreams, his hopes getting crushed all over again. He made the mistake of _believing_ in Steve, the words he said, the promises he made, and look where it got them? Half the population of Earth turned into dust because of betrayal, because of lies. And for what reason? So Steve could "save" his friend, his former lover?

It was all for nothing, and Steve knew it too. Never once in his life had he felt more a failure than he did now. He had betrayed everyone he knew, everyone he loved, because of the foolish notion he was always right and knew what he was doing. But it wasn't like that, not anymore.

Captain America was nothing but a relic, a symbol of time long gone past. An ideal to look up to, nothing more. Not even a real man, just someone with an uniform and an outdated meaning. Steve was lost in the past and he had no idea how to fix things between him and Tony.  
Maybe they couldn't fix it anymore.

Maybe this was truly the end, not just for them but for everyone. Maybe it was useless to fight anymore, to hope to make a change. Why bother when all it did was bringing forth pain and suffering for everyone?

It was not worth it.

Life goes on within you without you, Steve whispered, almost believing in what he said.


End file.
